Monday, March 24, 2008

Moving back in... for real

I have no choice. Most every outlet is blocked -- which isn't such a horrible thing. However, more than ever before, I have a need to write -- especially as I feel I am falling out of contact with my friends. I am not certain how much trash-talking I am going to engage in, but I know it really rides on my mood so I won't stress it.

Today is one of those magical given days. Not only is the moon newly in Scorpio, creating a personal new moon for me, but it is also in the same lunar phase as when I was born. The reason why moon in Scorpio is my personal new moon as opposed to moon in Libra is because my Sun is so close to Scorpio, moon in Libra doesn't effect my sun at all. The affect of a personal new moon is that you feel, generally, more energized and happy.

Last night, I fell asleep while twisting my locs. I woke up at 11:18, finished the few, and then got on-line for longer than I need. It's amazing -- no matter how sleepy I am, the internet never fails to awaken me... unless I am really tired at which point I fall off in my chair. This morning was a good morning. I started reading The Salt Ecstasies by James L. White. I get the feeling I am meant to meditate on them more. Check this one out:

Taken to a Room

Taken to a room with you asleep,
I want to touch you there
beneath the galaxy of star quilt.
You unfolf letting me into the warmth
and everything rises from my dick to my breath
saying we are here.

In my mind I kiss you away, your beard
and earring, the tattooed heart of Christ
on your chest, and remember
a prison boy named Rubio,
then I kiss down on all of you.

Now I'm taken to a room fully awake
and warned my imagination is out of hand.
They show me a solo screaming bed
and quilt of falling stars.
I pant hard over this poem
wanting to write your body again.

In this totally conscious poem
you're gone and they unplug my systems,
my heart, my lungs, my brains.
In front of the crowd they flash blinding lights
on my crotch and neuter me down to a smile.

I try to think about your eyes
and remember nothing.
Now they drag me off to the next room
where the real work begins.


Isn't that... hauntingly marvelous?


My first graders are on a field trip today. Which leaves only my second graders and third graders -- really. My 4/5th graders go to the computer room on Mondays. Autumn, my AmeriCorps mate, isn't here. So I am left to my own devices. I could be reading Sound Partners Implementation manual -- but I might need to read it over my school's Spring Break in order to get hours.

I feel like I am going too fast and telling the world, but not showing anything. I have been so wound tight without any place to really talk about what's been going on in my life since I decided to get back in the world of others. It's been.... quite a ride.

But maybe beginnings, as I have always suspected, are just really horrible ways to structure one's writing. "I was born." -- that's it. The rest is invention.

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