Ergane in Retrograde

A Life Uncommon

Before I go to bed tonight, I wanted to talk about my upcoming committment ceremony.

It's weird. Weird that I am about to do this with someone I love and who loves me. Around me, I can feel the energy of people who either don't get it, don't take it seriously, who are jealous, wish me or us misery... but it doesn't matter. None of it does. We matter and that's it.

I wish I could say we have always been the best people we can be with and to each other, but that isn't real and I am glad I can't say that. I can say that I have always been me. No masks. No swallowing. He has always seen the real me. In the beginning, I showed it and after a while, he knew it and when I was being mean or petty -- he'd see the real me and mirror me to me... which is rare. So used am I to mirroring other people back to themselves.

I hope everyone one can find someone or some ones as special to h/er as Ryan is to me... and who makes them feel as special as Ryan makes me feel. In the end, that's all it is about. It isn't about making things right or holding out for this, that or the other. No. Just the quality of someone's heart and how it meshes with your own heart.

And so, next monday, I am going to marry the person I love. It will be a marriage of spirit already wed. It will be a celebration, a ritual. We resist other people's shit and interpretations so our day -- and it truly will be... since we met 6 years ago May 30th (the other anniversary, of our falling in love with each other is Dec. 23, 1998... although Rye is the person who remembers the dates to get the glow... I remember the feeling and note how it has grown and what was wrought) -- will be like our relationship: Ours.

Something special, but like breathing.
Elegant, but home-y.
Full of heart and spirit
but never lacking on intelligence
symbology
a language shared by two.

posted by Ergane @ 1:08 AM