Tuesday, November 29, 2005

My own "Love Rain" shower


I don't understand why you tell anyone about me at all. You weren't particularly nice to me. You lied to me. You did not communicate with me. You blamed me for your responsibility over your sexuality.

How can you waltz in and blame that girl for your actions? She may have had a hang-up about my being in communication with you, but ulitmately, the choice was yours. You didn't care enough about me to not treat me like shit. I came to you not because I had any doubts about marrying Ryan or because I desired you sexually. I came to you as a friend and you spouted off about how you changed and how you were not going to let me seduce you and shit like that. Lex, last I checked, you did a very good job of seducing yourself.

So here we are: You tell people about me for your own kicks -- not because you care/d about me or loved me, I am just a story. And that is fine. But please, Lex, on all the angels and goddesses and gods, please wake up to yourself and what a bastard/jerk you can be. You come to me with ulimatuums about how our interaction can be, acting upon me like an object, which is in keeping, but please believe and know... I grew out of that with good, sound, persistant and bountiful love.

You don't need to rub it in my face how foolish I was to ever love you.