Lessons of Light
That sound a dog makes when it is smacked on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper has been my internal emotional state. Don't worry, I am bearing it well. All it does is make me remember that I have to return to my path, direct my emotions into myself instead of fretting about everyone else -- they'll be all right. But me... I worry about me.
I finished reading Michel Foucault's The History of Sexuality vol. 1 and feel completely... rejuvenated by all the new thinking and ideas. I should probably start writing sometime soon -- decide I have enough material, but I don't know if that is ever true -- c'est la vie.
Jeanette Winterson's The Passion is what I have started reading alongside Spivak whom I adore.
I keep thinking about whether I will get in or not and realizing I have to try and make my case and sell myself as best as possible. Also, I have to figure out how to keep my emotional state as insulated as possible. Now, this may sound bad, but it is not... I have been an emotional sponge as of late and I am fucking tired of it.
Last week, tragedy did strike which lead to the ending of a friendship. However, I realized I was not actually attending to it -- it had become sentimental without growth. Anyway, Lux, our kitten, HID the entire time that ex-friend was here. I was distraught -- did this mean we should give him up? That he would never fit into to our household? As soon as that ex-friend left, Lux emerged. I learned something very important from my Cancer kitty: It's ok to hide in order to protect your emotionality.
Perhaps one of the things that makes me so formidable and intimidating to other people is that I tend to face my emotionality and yours dead on. "Bring it" has been my rallying call since I was 15. Fifteen years later, I think I am starting to really understand what it means to pick one's battles. Not every battle should be fought, the trick is to listen to my instinct because it does not mis-serve me -- my instinct is fucking brilliant. It's my emotional little Cancer Mars that takes offense and understands not only what it is being said but how it is all so horrible and must be answered.
However, if I can willfully avoid the world's dismalness, I can avoid social dismalness as well and the more power to me! How am I ever to learn how to... not control, but make useful my own sensitivities if I am always allowing myself to be sidetracked by others who are, really... just not where I am? I won't learn -- and so I take lessons from my cat.
Viva Lux0r!
Yep
There's another photo set coming and it promises to be a DOOZY! Tomorrow, I think I shall unviel.
Gotta love
those times when things come together with as much effort as possible and uncontainable joy and happiness.
This is a picture of the drum circle at the Seattle Black Pride Picnic. Most of the members are with Sistah Drum here in town. My hands ache from so much vigorous drumming... but oh, how grounded I feel! Oh, how STILL pumped I am!
The Seattle Black Pride Picnic was a complete success. Last numbers I heard was that there were 300 + people AND they managed to feed every single one of us, even the homeless lingering around, sharing with us. It was so beautiful.
re: Drumming: The Welcome I received from those ladies was *immense*.
Drumming at the Seattle Black Pride Picnic
Greetings,
My name is Quentin Ergane and I am a drummer. I would like to invite all other drummers, dancers and others to join me for a drum circle Sunday, July 23, 2006 at the Seattle Black Pride BBQ and Picnic at Pratt Park at 2:00 pm.
The reason I would like to organize a drum circle is because I know there are at least two drumming groups that are GBLTQQISGLF and one that is composed of that community and B/black women (Sistah Drum and Different Drummers). It is not that I feel I am the most qualified to lead it, but I long to drum with people of my community and I feel it would an excellent way to see other drummers in our community, to get together, network, share knowledge, skill, and laughter, and find a whole new community together.
If you are reading this message and do not know about the Seattle Black Pride taking place this weekend (July 21 – 23, 2006), please check out http://www.seattleblackpride.org to learn more about the events taking place and about this wonderful organization which seeks to bring together everyone in our TIFSGLQQLBG community to celebrate the diversity of the B/black GBLTSGLIQQF community.
Please post this far and wide.
Direct any questions to kyooverse at gmail dot com and I hope to see you there.
Heart and Rhythm,
Quentin Ergane
Sunlight Yellow
look at it!
refreshed
New pics, in case you were interested.
Thyron will be here tomorrow and I am SO excited that he will be here. He's like family, the family you are told you can create when you first come out.
Things are going pretty well -- I can't complain. I hope I get my glasses soon because I am tired of being blind. I should go to bed, but I am still keyed up... I should not have drank that last soda!
Oh well.... between
Rat Bohemia by Sarah Schulman and
History of Sexuality vol. I by Foucault, I am sure I can find sleep with ease.
... Soul Food section in Safeway
Does your local grocery store have a soul food section? Ours does!!!
*le sigh*
(more in my Flickr... I don't know how to cut the pictures so they are not taking up gobs of space -- if someone can tell me how, I am all ears and fingers!)
Dudley's
Just wanted other people to see and share in it.
rhythm 041
There are new pictures in my blog from a drum circle I participated in at the Seattle Rhythm Festival.
Click the picture if you want more information.
Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil
Is my fucking hero.
Another article with a picture of Her Fierceness.
I have made tea for the Fae masses. Sweet tea: Cherry, Orange Pekoe, Jasmine Green... *smiles* then three unflavored bottles of three:
1) "For the ones that like mint" : Wild Blackcurrant (Stash), Gunpowder (green), Plantation mint (stash -- spearmint). It's hot.
2) "For the timid": Wild Sweet Orange (Tazo) crossed with honeybush rooibos. Profound joy.
3) "For the edgy": Passion fruit, hibiscus, and licorice spice. GOTdamn.
I can sleep... right?
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Calm
Last year, last summer, this was my FAVORITE picture (that I took)... I mean, look at it!
Anyway, I found a group called, simply, "Flowers" and... I love it. Love it because the people in the group have SERIOUS talent, so serious, I was intimidated... until I saw my pictures in the mix and saw that I had little to worry about (ok, as long as I made sure to add my really, really good ones!) -- I'm not too shabby!
Ok, back to Guitar Hero and my kitchen.